Jess Connell

growing heavenward, by grace

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Tag: sex

Sex: Blazing Fire, Mighty River, Walled Garden

Posted on June 15, 2017 by Jess Connell

Analogies can be a way for us to understand ideas or experiences better. Here are 3 good analogies I’ve heard used to describe sex, and why I find them helpful: #1- SEX IS LIKE A BLAZING FIRE. The weekend-getaway we do with our 12-year-olds is called “Passport2Purity.” That is the first place I remember hearing…

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9 Ways to Have a Rotten Sex Life

Posted on January 9, 2017 by Jess Connell

If you want a guaranteed way to have a miserable sex life with your husband, read on. Seek your own way, only, ever. Make sure the only thing you focus on is how often YOU want sex, how often you DON’T want it, how YOU feel at every given moment, what YOU think your needs are….

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Q&A: I’m Nervous. What If the Kids Can *Hear Us* Making Love?

Posted on November 4, 2016 by Jess Connell

Today’s Q&A is a really practical, common concern for many women: WHAT IF the kids can hear us making love?  It’s something almost all couples have to work through. Here’s the question I received: Q: I just read your post about “make love – let him hear you”.  In the post you reference letting your husband hear your pleasure…

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What the Bible Doesn’t Say About Your Sex Life

Posted on September 23, 2016 by Jess Connell

Ever wondered if the Bible has something to say about your sex life?  It definitely does. And let’s be clear: it’s not simply a list of “thou shalt nots.” Beginning way back in Genesis, we get peeks into various couples’ marriages. Throughout Old Testament stories, we see how one’s choices about sex and marital intimacy affect their entire…

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Q&A: What if I Don’t Feel “In the Mood?”

Posted on April 18, 2016 by Jess Connell

Q: I would like to see practical tips for how to make it a priority and how to feel ‘in the mood’ when I am so tired… A: Well, since you asked a straight question, I’m going to give you a straight answer. 🙂 I think waiting and hoping to feel “in the mood” may be…

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Cooking, Sex, and Giving Honest Feedback

Posted on March 7, 2016 by Jess Connell

Imagine the pressure– (perhaps you feel this pressure over the holidays!?) Christmas dinner will be at your house, and everyone’s looking to you to make it. Only problem is, you cook infrequently, don’t really know your way around the kitchen, and are relying on ingredients you only rarely use or eat. The pressure to produce…

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Make Love: Let Him Hear You

Posted on January 13, 2016 by Jess Connell

I’m convinced that this one skill can make all the difference in a couple’s sexual relationship. Though it may not come naturally, it’s a game changer when we can learn to do this openly, with a receptive heart, and without shame. Here it is: TALK HONESTLY ABOUT SEX WITHOUT SHAME OR DISCOURAGEMENT. As a wife, it can make…

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Josh Duggar and the Problem We All Have

Posted on August 20, 2015 by Jess Connell

Well, so here it is. After Josh Duggar molested a number of girls and got caught a number of times, he went on TV, got himself a wife, and sold purity and courtship and not kissing until marriage. We all watched as his dad gave him a purity talk, which we now know, he did solely for the camera, because he…

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One Hundred Little Choices in Marriage

Posted on June 19, 2015 by Jess Connell

10 non-sexual touches a day. It’s one assignment my husband gives to married couples who are struggling. 10 non-sexual touches a day. For some couples, it’s a steep challenge that takes hard work, like rusted-over gears that haven’t cranked in years. For others, after a few days or a week of practice, it starts an avalanche…

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20 Thoughts About Honeymoon Sex for Virgins

Posted on June 12, 2015 by Jess Connell

My husband, Doug, and I are privileged to be able to do marital and pre-marital counseling through our church. Here are some of our thoughts for the about-to-be-married virgin couple about having healthy, realistic attitudes about honeymoon sex: 1. GO SLOW. For her: Your body takes time to relax and open up. Let yourself warm up…

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