Two days after having my precious new son, I shared a picture on Facebook with the following comments:
I love the sleepy quiet snuggled-in days after a baby arrives, in general… and I love this quiet day, in particular.
Seeing my babies love on my babies… and getting to see them embrace (not just philosophically but with their whole hearts and minds, because they are LIVING it) God’s truth that children really are a blessing… makes my heart so full it could burst.
MeiMei & I have had so many sweet conversations– about babies, about life– in the last 24 hours. I’m very grateful that she is so eager to hold my sweet newborn son, Fisher, and I love Love LOVE seeing them together.
Afterward, a friend asked:
“I have kind of a personal question so feel free to not answer….I’m curious if you guys will continue to have kids as long as God blesses you?”
Here’s my 19-minute video answer to her question. I’ll apologize on the front end for how quiet my voice is. I was out in the living room for a 5am feeding with Fisher and didn’t want to wake anyone up.
I want to be clear–
- These are our own thoughts, about our own babies.
- We definitely realize that the concerns (medical, financial, career, familial, marriage, home, community support, etc.) we have to think about are not the same concerns as every other family/couple, and that everyone has different lives & different challenges.
- This is not universal or prescriptive– thus, not offered as *advice.*
- These are just my hazy thoughts & perspective about babies and souls and our own choices, after being asked by a friend about these things.
Video outline:
- 3:00- the biggest thing I’ve realized about having more babies
- 3:55- mothering is a real sacrifice, with real pain & hard work
- 4:55- the difference in my perspective now vs. my 1st postpartum time, 14 years ago
- 5:55- what I’m seeing now, as my kids are getting older
- 9:00- how this big picture frames the way I see the difficulty of my postpartum season
- 10:10- real & immediate challenges in the postpartum season & what helps me get past the feelings & fear when I feel like, “I CAN’T DO THIS! THIS IS CRAZY!”
- 13:00- how I think about whether or not we’ll have more children
- 15:35- this isn’t universal advice, or a commentary on other people’s lives
- 16:55- sum-up of my perspective on postpartum & whether we’ll have more kids
Here’s another pic of Silas (our 8 year old cake-baking gardener) holding my precious Fisher.
Just because.
Grace & Peace,
Jess
*just copied and pasted from youtube*
“I hope not to many men will watch this.” oops. I’m used to being the outlier. But you basically made me click on it with a birthcontrolly title.
liked. subscribed. (j/k already subbed)
we’ve had the same experience with the incredible contrast between temporary difficulty and long term soul creation and investments.
Love how you tied in the long term things we may wee at 14:00 also how you tossed in Cincinnati.
congrats guys. So excited for you.
– ben
Funny how that (Cincinnati) popped into my head at that moment. At some point in the last week, I got an e-mail about a homeschool convention there in the spring, and my wheels started turning… “I wonder if…”, “maybe Kami would want to go with me…” etc.
It’s crazy talk cause there ain’t no way I want to be traveling alone with an infant, but… maybe that’s why it was in my head.
Congrats! Very encouraging thoughts Jess ! And loved hearing your heart on who are kids may be…Sweet little baby !!!!
You commented on it being long, I was impressed that two days postpartum you were able to talk coherently for that long 😉 Very good job Jess. And Congratulations!
Thanks so much for the rawness of this footage. Loved hearing your thoughts and getting a glimpse of your postpartum life.
Such words of wisdom, Jess. And I don’t say that lightly. Man, I wish I heard this 15 years ago. But God has been faithful to teach me these things along the way. I love your arrow definition. Such a cool picture. And your face was radiant. Yes, you look tired but your face was radiant. Thank you for sharing this. And I love that you were thinking about you and I going to a homeschool convention together.
You have been and continue to be such an inspiration to me! I can see God at work in your life, and I can for sure see how much more important your life has been because you chose to invest in family life instead of politics. May God continue to bless you!!