We have a favorite family recipe called “Dutch Puff.”
The kids love the way it rises up, especially along the corners, and as it comes out of the oven, they jockey for who will get which portion. Judging by their reactions, there are definitely winners and losers when it comes to who gets which pieces of Dutch Puff. Whoever gets the first serving bites into it, grinning wildly, convinced they got the tallest, most perfectly honey brown, best piece.
As women, I think we each have a “first serving” to offer. And I believe it matters greatly WHO gets it.
Every now and then you’ll hear a woman fess up that “you can’t have it all, all at once.”
Even then, though, they’ll often try to explain it away because of “cultural” expectations, or “short maternity leave” policies.
Very rarely will they say: “You can’t have it all all at once. Period. You can’t. Someone is going to get your best.”
And, what’s more:
- your employer wants that to be THEM. They want to get your best. They want you when you are mentally at your freshest, when you are (schedule-wise) at your most flexible, when you are (emotionally) invested in them and deeply committed to their success. They want your willingness to sacrifice for them.
- your family NEEDS it to be THEM. They need to get your best. They need you when you are mentally at your freshest, when you are (schedule-wise) at your most flexible, when you are (emotionally) invested in them and deeply committed to their success. They need your willingness to sacrifice for them.
Very rarely will anyone fess up and tell a young lady the whole story:
- the entire society around you is pulling for you to choose #1.
- you have most likely been molded, your whole life, to find identity in work (“What are you going to BE when you grow up, little girl?” — note: implying career, never talking about relationships, and never emphasizing character)
- you have inbuilt purposes in you that will, at some point, BURST for you to give them a voice through your biology and belly and breasts (just as apple trees, even if someone annually comes along and clips off all the tiny fruits, keeps bursting forth with blossoms in hopes of producing the fruit it was made to bear)
- it is nearly universal that societal credibility and respect comes from career/advancements/money, not relationships, and
- it is nearly universal that the regrets people speak of on their death bed center on relationships, not career/advancements/money.
So, back to the original question, then– who is getting your “best?”
Who is getting your “best?”
- an employer?
- your children?
- a multi-level-marketing company?
- your husband?
- a ministry/service opportunity?
- your house/stuff?
- the internet/Facebook/social media?
- something else?
Who/what gets your freshest thinking apple to their/its problems? To whom/what are you devoted? Who receives your most heartfelt smiles, your excitement, and your most focused attention?
With Dutch Puff, only one kid can get the first serving. Yes, there’s “more to go around,” but nearly everyone who looks at the Dutch Puff agrees there is one best slice.
With life, it’s not such a small matter. Are you giving your slices with wide open eyes, aware of how few pieces of you there are to go around?
Who is getting YOUR best slice?