One Thing Your Son Needs
Moms of sons, you want to take note of Titus 2:6.
In the verses before this, Paul is instructing Timothy about HOW he should be pastoring the people in his church. In Titus 2: 1-5, Paul tells Timothy to give:
- older men a list of 6 things they are to DO and BE,
- older women a list of 5 things they are to DO and BE, and
- younger women a list of 7 things they are to LEARN to DO and BE.
But when it comes to young men, he does something different. There’s no list. Not 5 things. Not 3 things.
Paul tells Timothy to urge young men to be ONE thing:
“Urge the young men to be self-controlled.” (Titus 2:6)
Miriam-Webster defines it like this:
restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires
The Greek word means this:
to be of sound mind, to be temperate, have sound judgment, to be sensible
Draw each of those things out– in this context, it means:
- To be of sound mind– means to have a mind that thinks rightly about one’s self
- To be temperate– means to not be given to extremes in thinking and choices
- To have sound judgment/be sensible– means to weighs things carefully; to think of oneself soberly; to use good judgment
COMMIT YOURSELF TO THIS ONE BATTLE
This is a MAJOR battle you can take on in the hearts and bodies and minds of your son(s).
Watch for it: emotions, physical body, attitude, posture, attention, sexuality, impulsiveness… you will see his lack of self-control play out in many areas. And I LOVE the way the definitions help us to tie things back to their THINKING.
This is a way you can help your sons: identify what they are thinking and believing, and help them to counsel their own hearts with truth and wisdom from God’s Word.
WHEN BOYS/YOUNG MEN LACK SELF-CONTROL
Boys are quite different from girls. A lot of it goes back to this lack of self-control. They are (on the whole) FAR more wiggly, impulsive, combative, wrestling-prone, easily-roused toward fury, sensitive about bullying, easily-distracted, quick to fly into a temper tantrum, and more. It’s also why these things (tantrums/anger/crying) often look and sound very different from their little-girl-counterparts.
A lack of self-control is why young men might unexpectedly and unintentionally find themselves:
- in friendships with utter fools,
- in juvi/prison,
- on websites where they know they shouldn’t be,
- deep in sexual sin with a girl they don’t even like,
- in embarrassing situations,
- ready to beat up someone over a small offense they can’t even articulate, and
- often doing things that make no sense to themselves or others.
Mama, let me urge you (like the Apostle Paul urged Timothy)–“urge” the young men in your home to “be self-controlled.”
And then commit yourself to do the work of helping them develop the unnatural– but GOOD and RIGHT– quality of self-mastery.
IN THE COMMENTS: In what way(s) does your son– at whatever age he is– CURRENTLY need you to help him develop self-control?
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