So You Want to Have a Large Family?

So you want to have a large family? Or you’re on the fence and thinking about having more kids? Maybe your husband wants more, and you’re not sure? Or vice-versa?

Before we got married, we both wanted a “lot of kids.” But back then we would have said that number was something like 3-5 kids. NOW? Well… we have 7 kids (6 boys & 1 girl), and an 8th on the way.

While I love to write about topics like being a postpartum mom, why we prioritize having great sex in marriage, how we approach home education, how I persevere through mom exhaustion, and why you should definitely NOT let your kids walk all over you, I write a good bit about large family life.

Here are my 10 most-popular articles about having a large family–

#1- WHY HAVE MORE KIDS?

“Recently, on an older post about exhaustion, I received this comment:

“I don’t want to offend anyone but why do people keep having more kids if they are already exhausted with 1 or 2 they do have?”

There are so many answers I could give, but for me, it all boils down to this… (CLICK to read the article.)

#2- LARGE FAMILIES & SUSTAINABILITY

My response to this comment:

my big issue with extra large families, is that ultimately, it is unsustainable. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone decided to have 6+ children!? We are already outgrowing our planet. …Think about minimizing your footprint, and yes, that means procreating less and using birth control.

(Read my answer HERE.)

#3- WHAT IF THE LITTLES GROW UP DIFFERENT FROM THE BIG KIDS?

One of the things I was at least mildly concerned about at first, in regard to having a big family, was the common observation that in a large family, the younger children often grow up in a quite different way from how the older children were raised.

Accusations sometimes go along these lines:

You were so strict with us! Now he gets away with everything!
We never got our (phone/car/insurance) paid for! You guys have softened up!
We weren’t allowed to watch that movie! You are so lax now!!

And here are my observations…

#4- HOW DO YOU KEEP UP WITH ALL YOUR KIDS?

Q: Is there a point where it gets difficult to care for the children’s emotional and spiritual health and actually KNOW each of them individually? Our second child is just a year old, so some of my question may be due to our recent/ongoing transition between “I can focus on just you” with our first to keeping up with two little people. Do you have any comment on (1) how to evaluate what the needs (beyond physical) of current (and additional) kids are and (2) practical ways you meet them? How do you keep up with everyone?

Read my response HERE.

#5- FAMILY SIZE & LIVING OUT CHALLENGING PERSONAL CONVICTIONS

Q: When I look into the future and imagine our vision for our family, I still feel at peace having as many children as God wills until we prayerfully feel that season of childbearing is over. But in the midst of it, this task seems too hard. I find myself searching for biblical motivations, but it’s hard because it’s a choice and full of Christian freedom.

…how can we maintain firm convictions about issues that are based in gospel freedom? How can we not give way to the trials and suffering when we are in the midst of doing that which God calls us to do? How can we avoid this temptation to just stick to our guns for the sake of not looking like a failure? I want to hold fast to our plan for our family for the right reasons…but sometimes I have a hard time stacking them up after a difficult day with toddlers.

(CLICK to read the article.)

#6- WHAT LIFE IS LIKE FOR THIS MOM OF 7

Here it is– off the cuff and unrehearsed 🙂 — this is the good, the bad, the ugly of what life is like for me as a (home educating) mom of seven boisterous kids. (They’re, currently, 13 & under.)

Here’s a PEEK into our everyday life as a large family.

#7- HOW I HANDLE UGLY COMMENTS ABOUT OUR LARGE FAMILY

To each large family mom out there, especially you who are on the newer end of being a large family and hearing ugly comments: first, let me say, I’m sorry for the rude comments/attitudes you’ve received. We’ve gotten all the typical comments too. Back before we were a “large family,” I’d read the articles or hear stories, and think, “people don’t really say those ridiculous things, do they?”

YES THEY DO.

I’ve heard them all. I’m learning more and more to let them go, but I know they can sting.

Here are the things that have helped put those comments in perspective.

#8- HOW DO YOU GET QUALITY TIME WITH OLDER CHILDREN WHILE ALSO RAISING YOUNGER CHILDREN?

Recently a reader wrote in with this question:

“How do you get quality time with older children while caring for younger children?”

This is something I intentionally think about on a fairly regular basis… (HERE’S MY ANSWER.)

#9- 10 WAYS WE MAKE TIME FOR OUR MARRIAGE (AMIDST THE CHAOS OF LARGE FAMILY LIFE)

It can be difficult for parents in any season of life— with a newborn, with two or three little ones, with the time commitments of little league, with teens, or (as in our case) with a large family that bridges many of these “seasons”– to prioritize marriage amidst all the “busyness.”

Here are 10 ways Doug and I purposefully work to make time for each other, in the midst of raising our large family…

#10- 21 WAYS OUR LARGE FAMILY SAVES MONEY