Mama, Are You Willing to Do the Hard, Loving Thing?

Mama, Are You Willing to Do the HARD, LOVING Thing? // jessconnell.comWhen faced with the hard things, we often want to avoid them,  and excuse ourselves.

Let’s talk about two places where Paul did the hard, loving thing (toward the Corinthians):

  • 1 Cor 2:1-5 — Power of God v. persuasion through human will

Paul was willing to purposefully forgo the use of his skills and talents in order to fully rely on the power of God. He didn’t want to lean heavily on his own skills of speech and persuasion.

QUESTION FOR US: Where am I tempted to trust in MY strength, talent, and abilities in my mothering, and in our home, rather than in God?

  • 1 Cor 2:1-3a, 2 Cor 2:4 — Paul confronted sin and told the truth when lying/avoiding would be easier.

There are so many times in a mom’s life when it would be so much easier to keep sitting down rather than to firmly deal with sin. Perhaps even more difficult, there are many times when– as a wife– I believe God will use us to confront sin in our husband’s life.

Because he love the Corinthians, Paul told the truth about sin.

QUESTION FOR US: Am I willing to lovingly speak the truth to my family?

Paul did the hard, loving thing, rather than the easier thing. 

Jesus lived out this same principle:

  • took time to explain the parables
  • had compassion for the needy even when He was bone-weary
  • spoke hard truths (rich young ruler, woman at the well)

I DIDN’T WANT TO DO THE HARD, LOVING THING

Recently I had a situation with one of our children. He confronted me, mildly, about the way I’d corrected him. But the method wasn’t to my liking. I pondered his words, and his method, and decided to ask Doug for his thoughts.

Doug’s response?

(eeeeeeeeek, you had to ask didn’t you?)

“Might be a good chance to confess to him, if you feel like you should, and identify with him as a fellow sinner.”

OH MAN! As you might imagine, that was NOT what I was hoping to hear.

I texted back, more-than-somewhat peeved:

“I know you are right. I do not want to do that, though. But I know I should. Ask me later if I did.”

Only a few moments later, (of course! Isn’t that just like God?) that same child walked in to the room alone (which almost never happens in our busy house).

I did what Doug said: I humbled myself and confessed that my tone had been wrong. I asked forgiveness for hurting his feelings. He forgave me, and we had a wonderful talk.

I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t feel like doing it. Until the words came out of my mouth I would have preferred not to say them. But doing that hard thing turned out to be for our GOOD.

The easier thing would have:

  • allowed me to remain prideful
  • maintained my “self-respect”
  • set a bad example
  • put up a *minor* barrier in our relationship

I say minor because that’s really how these things work, isn’t it?

If we’re all really trying to follow Jesus, it’s rare that a major hurt clouds our field of vision. But wowzers, those “minor” flare-ups can, brick by brick, build a barrier in our relationships.

Later, I texted Doug:

Talked with ________. And it was good. Crazy how our pride rises up to try to keep us from doing what is right!

Often, in close relationships, we have the opportunity to do the harder thing or the easier thing. And almost always, the harder thing is the one that is the most long-term beneficial, and the most loving. Paul stands with Jesus as our examples in this.

Today, will you do the hard, loving thing when the opportunity arises?

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Jess Connell

Jesus-follower, Happy wife, Mom of 8 neat people. Former world-traveler, now settled in Washington. Host of Mom On Purpose podcast (momonpurpose.com). I write and wrangle kids.

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2 Responses

  1. Sally Howard says:

    Thirty years ago my husband and I decided to do the “hard” thing. One of our sons, age 26, and his girlfriend found out they were expecting a baby. They decided not to get married and that she would have sole custody of this baby boy. Our son gave us an ultimatum—either we choose to see the baby or him! My husband in his wisdom stated ” we will miss you son”! Of course, our son did not mean this and agreed for us to see our grandson, but not to give any reports to him. The past 30 years have brought us the greatest joy in being a part of this grandson’s life! He is a grown man, with a great career, the most loving heart of all of our 9 grandchildren. Best of all he loves the Lord and serves Him. When I say it was a hard thing to do, the benefits outweigh all the heartaches associated.

  2. Kathryn says:

    Yes, I agree. Sometimes even the tiniest tiniest things can seem hard, like saying thank you to a child for something they do. My husband often reminds us of the scripture that says (paraphrased) don’t withhold yourself from doing good to someone when it’s within your power to do so. Even replying to an e-mail with thank you instead of not responding at all is an example, the tiniest things.

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