Convictions & Choices, part 1: Don’t Do It Because “They” Do

We recently talked about not doing something “just to prove them wrong.” Today I want to talk about the flip side:

Don’t embrace a conviction just because others do.

Choices & Convictions, part 1: Don't Do it Because "They" Do // jessconnell.com

Just as the world often goes along with lifestyle decisions because of the people around them, Christians sometimes take on the convictions of others around us without actually searching the Scriptures and knowing exactly why they believe and do what they do. Here are some convictions that I’ve seen Christians adopt because of others, and it has almost always ended up to their detriment and sorrow:

  • homeschooling/private Christian schooling/public schooling
  • following Babywise/co-sleeping
  • sports/dance/theater/extracurricular involvement
  • delaying babies/being “quiverful”/stopping after 2 kids/surgical sterilization
  • pastoral & missionary service
  • going/not going to college
  • dating/courtship
  • following a particular curriculum or ministry

The list above is not necessarily a list of right things, or of wrong things. It is, however, a list of things that would be absolutely wrong for you to do if they do not “proceed from faith.”

Here’s the thing I feel pressed to tell you, sister:

YOU SHOULD NOT DO ANYTHING THAT IS NOT FULLY DONE IN FAITH.

Romans 14:23 is so clear:

But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.

 

ARE YOU “RUNNING FROM HOUSE TO HOUSE,” GATHERING CONVICTIONS FROM OTHERS?

Many women today, I feel, are very near the line (if not over it) that 1 Timothy 5:13 describes, of young widows with not enough to do:

“they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies…”

  • The fact that someone else does or says something, and seems godly and wise, can not be enough for you.
  • The feeling that you were raised in a different way, and this way seems so righteous and wholesome can not be enough for you.
  • That an impressive or dynamic leader espouses this idea, curriculum, conviction, or approach can not be enough for you to follow it.
  • The novelty or uniqueness of an idea can not be enough for you.
  • The fact that you read about it and it resonates with you can not be enough.
  • Really liking and admiring the woman saying it, and her family, can not be enough.

IN THE HOMESCHOOL COMMUNITY

I have particularly witnessed this in the at-large homeschool community, so that is where I’m going to call it out. Sadly, it is not uncommon to see women essentially going “from house to house,” wandering in and out of various convictional stances. These women:

  • take on convictions of others,
  • talk loudly about them,
  • live them out for a while, wholeheartedly trying out “this” discipline method, “that” birthing style, “this” belief about birth control, or “that” homeschool approach,
  • feel defeated and discouraged when it doesn’t “work” for their marriage, family, or child,
  • often proceed to talk loudly against the convictions they were once all for,
  • and then, do it again, usually swinging to the opposite end of the pendulum.

They do this not based on reading God’s Word, not based on leadership from their husband, not based on teaching from their pastor & church, but often based on the teachings of other women in blogs, books, magazines, and online forums. 

I fear that there is a great risk of becoming like those busy bodying widows when we spend more time talking with other women online about our convictions (or mentally “talking” with other women in books/articles/magazines/blogs), than we do with our own flesh-and-blood husbands.

[And trust me, I’m not saying any specific thing on the list good or bad, although I definitely have my own opinions & convictions (some of them quite strong). I’ve lived and done some of those things, and some of them I have specifically avoided.]

But it concerns me to see women taking on large-scale, burdensome convictions without the drive for those convictions coming first from Scripture, and without their own hearts being fully knit together with their husbands.

TWO SPECIFIC EXAMPLES

#1- Sadly, it seems there was a disturbing trend of this tendency in the patriarchal/quiverfull circles of Doug Phillips & Vision Forum. Now, please hear me out, whether you are/were a lover or hater of that group.

Ironically, in a system where the husband was supposed to be the head of the home, there are many instances I have read about and observed-from-afar where the wife was the first to be “convinced” of the convictions they took on. Husbands then, at their wives insistence/enthusiasm, began to live out these strong and difficult convictions. It seems that many did this, not because they were independently, biblically convinced of each one, but because their wives pulled them into the whole thing and they coalesced.

Sisters, this should not be.

Later, it turned out that this system of living was burdensome to many who embraced it. Many of the women found themselves carrying a burden that felt too heavy. Many marriages and families struggled (and still are). And many, sadly, have thrown their faith out with these convictions that (for them) seem wholly tied up with Christ.

#2- I have also seen it with children and discipline issues, in completely different circles.

The wife goes out into the worldwide web, finds a parenting system that appeals to her “mommy heart,” because it seems soft and sweet and “non-punitive,” and is fully intertwined and committed to this system, before her husband has even had a chance to consider it and weigh in. When their husbands try to express concerns, they are ignored or belittled for “not understanding child development” or “not being as well-read” as the mom.

This approach produces division within homes, enmity between mom & dad, difficulty between fathers and their children (when their children turn out to be little pills), and can even lead to divorce, all because the wife was out, running from virtual house to house, taking on opinions and convictions without her husband’s input.

HEAVY BURDENS V. LIGHT BURDENS

In Matthew 23 (and Luke 11), the burdens given to people by the religious leaders were described:

“They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger.”

This reminds me of the burdens tied on people’s shoulders by those who loudly tout the rightness or wrongness of various convictions. And, like the Pharisees, those who teach about these burdensome convictions will not be there to help move and lift the burdens when it becomes to great for people to bear alone.

Doug Philipps is not there to help lift the heavy, everyday burdens of the fathers and mothers he shackled with a works-based approach to godliness. Nor are the internet forum moms (who hand out advice in droves) going to be there to help you when your 5-year-old is a violent whirlwind of destruction and makes your home life miserable. They lay up heavy burdens on the shoulders of others but do nothing to help lift them.

But the burden given to people by Christ is described much differently:

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

He does not give burdens that are greater than we can bear in His strength. He helps us to carry the things that He puts on our shoulders.

Christian wives should not be out running around (on the internet or in books or homeschool conventions), gathering convictions to bring back and lay at our husbands’ feet, for them to take on and “do.” If we do, we become part of the religious system described above, where we are laying heavy burdens on other people’s shoulders.

Before embracing a convictional stance, be sure that you are “fully convinced,” as Romans 14:5 tells us to be. In order to be “fully convinced” as a married woman, I believe I should:

  • look to God’s Word
  • look to Christ & take on HIS rest-giving yoke
  • look to our own husbands, ranking their opinions much higher than anyone else on earth
  • look to our own consciences

to determine what we are “fully convinced” about and can do “in faith.” And more often than not, rather than producing exact carbon copies of one another, that is going to produce some areas where we operate differently from the people around us.

Which is EXACTLY why God gave us Romans 14.

 

Which is where we’ll pick up, in part 2. :)

 

IN THE COMMENTS, PLEASE SHARE:

  • Do you see this tendency in yourself, or in the group you are a part of?

Because I know this is a potentially divisive issue, I offer this heads-up: I am going to be actively moderating comments & will not approve rude, combative comments. Personal, observational, or factual comments are fine. But do not wholesale-criticize a group of people. Do not make sweeping, judgmental statements. Try to be more conciliatory toward the opposing “side” than you hope for them to be toward you.

I would love to host a robust, honest, kind discussion here.  

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Jess Connell

Jesus-follower, Happy wife, Mom of 8 neat people. Former world-traveler, now settled in Washington. Host of Mom On Purpose podcast (momonpurpose.com). I write and wrangle kids.

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26 Responses

  1. Sarah H says:

    Your post is a timely reminder. Thanks.

    I can’t comment on the Doug Phillips/Vision Forum thing, except to say that I can see how people, particularly women, could be wooed by the promises of prosperous/perfect home-life if you follow certain guidelines.

    I came from a church where we were supposed to have the Pastor’s convictions to such an extent that he actually said that his preaching *was* God’s Word.

    Now, two and a half years out of that place (which I was at from the age of 4) it is a very slow, but productive, process of learning true personal conviction.

    I am still very easily swayed by what I see on blogs. It is easy to forget that behind the lovely writing and beautiful photographs is a real person who fails and has hang-ups just as much as I do. I have subconsciously tried to be other people – or at least live like I imagine they do – I’ve caught myself doing that recently. It can be quite a trap as one can feel quite despondent when life doesn’t turn out quite as perfectly as you imagine theirs is.

    It think that in the case of theological conviction it’s turning to the scriptures and really reading them in context prayerfully – and as you say, chatting about them with husband/Pastor/church (but with the Pastor/church bit sometimes it is difficult personally to find the dividing line between healthy submission and controlling authority).

    In the case of conviction on matters that are debatable, I think it’s learning who you are, your own tastes, personality, health, ability, financial means, etc. (and if you are married and/or with children their needs must also be taken into account). That is, not trying to be someone else, or live someone else’s dream.

    It’s a cliché to say, “Just be yourself”, but I reckon God created us all differently for a reason.

  2. Laura says:

    My husband has always been different than the other, stricter husbands I see in our church circle…. I spent many years in tears, fighting against him, making him out to be the bad guy because he did not hold this or that conviction. But God is gracious and He convicted my heart and I realized that this is the man He gave me. A good man. I could spend my life fighting, or I could accept him as he is. Anything that bothers me or I truly wish would be different, I take to the Lord. In this, I have found indescribable peace. In my heart and in my marriage. I wish all wives would take to heart the verse about being obedient to their ‘own’ husbands. In that, they will find Jesus’ easy yoke. I love this post.

    • Jess Connell says:

      Great observations, Laura. What a blessing it is to have a steady husband who isn’t easily blown by the winds around him.

      “I wish all wives would take to heart the verse about being obedient to their ‘own’ husbands. In that, they will find Jesus’ easy yoke.”

      Yes! The sad & ironic thing about the Doug Philipps controversy is that the whole system he purported to promote was all about authority and submission, and he was ultimately operating as a man outside of authority. Not only that, but he was convincing women of convictions outside of their own God-given authorities, so that then they had to scurry home from homeschool conventions, or after listening to tapes with messages from DP, to convince their husbands of things… and his ultimate downfall came from sinfully asking a young woman to step out from under her rightful authorities so that she could be under his authority. So many of the problems came from women being subject and obedient to Beall Philipps’ husband, rather than their own husbands, and from him being beholden to no one, operating like a Lone Ranger.

      Thanks for your comments, Laura. I pray that more women will find that place of contentment and acceptance within the marriage where God has placed them, rather than by looking at the convictions of others and being discontented.

  3. Vanessa says:

    I think this was very well put and written, I’ve had an issue with an earlier blog( not leaving a child to him/herself), because I thought you were espousing this very thing, follow me, my convictions, because it is the best! But I had to read those comments,a nd now this blog to really understand what you mean :)

    This I think is the problem with an online forum, (especially with me), you can’t hear the way you say the words, you can’t see your body language, and non verbal cues, and since I don’t know you personally, I can’t see how it plays out in your marriage, and how you treat each other when you are in church, when a child throws a tantrum, when you are late for something you volunteered , and so I sometimes take something said/read as gospel truth.

    Thankfully I tend to ruminate on it, and think it through before I bring it to my husband. Also I’m so grateful for the fact that my husband is immensely secure in who he is and in THE ONE we serve, and so has no problem with being the veto vote respectfully, kindly, gently and with all love. But he won’t be swayed , just because.

    We have all been put on this earth for various purposes with myriad ad varied gifts, and we need to put those to use, without being a copycat. BECAUSE OUR GOD IS NOT A COPYCAT GOD. He is so creative,a nd full of different ideas, and gives that to us freely,a nd like you said doesn’t expect us to bear someone else’s burdens(help carry them for someone who is going through too much for a short time, yes, but not take those burdens, and add them to our own )

    Personally this has played out for us in the number of children we have. We have 2, I would like more, and at the same time , I think, I can’t or won’t be able to handle it, and I would love to go back to work , outside the home sometime. My husband decided that 2 is good enough for us, and now I’m starting to recognise the wisdom in that decision :)

    • Jess Connell says:

      Interesting, Vanessa. I remember that now.

      I do try to steer clear of scriptural gray areas here, although I may yet unintentionally do it. As much as my pride would love to gather together a host of people who believe all the things I do convictionally and in their “gray area” choices, that’s not best for me or them, and I know it.

      It is so easy for any of us to read something and run with it, rather than ruminating, filtering it through Scriptural truth, waiting, talking it over with our husbands, etc. Even with practical things, like a homeschool curriculum, it can be so tempting to see it, get excited about it, buy it, and begin doing it, all without prayer or talking it over with our husbands.

      Like you mention with family size, there are gray areas where different people come to different convictions. I’m grateful for the variety within the Body, where we can follow Christ and yet not live in a box built by other people.

      • Lora says:

        Thanks for writing this post. You are a great writer, clear and convicting. Your strength of personality comes through, and I must say that the post about not leaving your child alone bothered me…. I interpreted it as you saying this is the only godly way to deal with little kids etc. So honestly, it turned me off, because I have differing opinions which I believe I can support. Reading this post lets me take a deep breath and say it’s just what works for Jess :). So keep up the writing and I will keep reading!

  4. Hello Jess,
    God has blessed you with wisdom and writing skills and I thank you for using them to His Glory. You touch on so many ‘cut to the heart’ issues, like our saviour Jesus. Thank you. I completely agree with you on this issue, that is the heart issue of how we as women can sometimes run about (on-line, in books etc.) tossed about in the sea of ideas and other people’s convictions. I have been so concerned by it that I’ve tended to avoid all this stuff and just stick to God’s Word and my relationship with my husband. However, I know that God also talks about the older woman teaching (Godly things) to the younger woman, so there is a place for this, and thank you again for taking your part in it. Please continue to draw near to God, and reach out to others. Thank you Jess. Yours sister in Christ, Kathryn Sommerlad.

  5. Joy says:

    Yes! Thank you Jess! This article is so helpful!

  6. Kondwani says:

    I like this post. I’ve come across too many Christians who make the ‘grey’ areas black and white, and I’ve previously been very hurt by that. In our family, it is the conviction that a parent should be at home with the children, and so in consequence we both work part-time and one of us is always home. I’ve been accused of making career an idol and worse, but every time I seek God on it, even when I have been at the point of wanting to resign, God has affirmed to me (and more importantly, to my husband!) that our current work pattern is right. (And its often my job that opens the doors for my husband to engage in preaching and spiritual leadership activities and really use his gifts in different countries). I can understand why somebody would question our pattern, and maybe want to know more about what led us to this point, but to say categorically that God cannot be in it seemed a bit extreme. (And looking back, I would go as far as to say it was a spiritually abusive position we were in at that time, for other reasons too. Praise God for healing and that we could see that it was not God, but somebody working in the name of God that was doing it).

    I also know too many women who basically lead the family through a slightly indirect and at times manipulative route. That too makes me uncomfortable. I love the way you affirm the role of husband as head of the home time and time again. It is a teaching you don’t hear all the time these days, but I believe it to be essential.

    Please keep writing on the difficult, potentially controversial issues – not to cause controversy or division, but because so much that is written or spoken these days follows a post-modern ‘whatever works for you and your family is fine’ kind of line.

    • Jess Connell says:

      I would go as far as to say it was a spiritually abusive position we were in at that time, for other reasons too. Praise God for healing and that we could see that it was not God, but somebody working in the name of God that was doing it).
      I, too, am thankful that you were able to distinguish between the two. Sadly, all too often, when someone has been under an ungodly authority who uses the name of God, that person walks away from it and tosses God in the can too, because it’s all (in their minds) intertwined with the terrible authority and ungodly leader who caused their suffering.

      I also know too many women who basically lead the family through a slightly indirect and at times manipulative route. That too makes me uncomfortable.
      It’s all too common. We all have to watch out for it in our own hearts; we’re so easily self-deceived.

      Thanks for your continued comments & thoughtful interaction, Kondwani.

  7. Rebecka says:

    I found this so timely. I have never read any of your stuff until recently when after I announced our 8th pregnancy, someone sent me one of your articles. It’s so interesting that I have to be VERY careful about reading too many well meaning parenting books, marriage books, etc. because I notice that all of the sudden THEIR advice starts to condemn me and make me take my eyes of what my husband believes, what I believe, what my faith teaches and how that informs my experience. It’s been a very eye opening thing because I would have never thought that could ever be a “problem”–getting too much info. But it really can. And it can condemn someone like me who often feels trapped between those that homeschool (God Bless Them!), and don’t eat anything that isn’t a whole food, and never let their children leave their sight, and people who have very little spiritual feeling about much. I often feel like I am an island unto myself because my kids go to public school, but we have a big family determined because of my particular beliefs about what God wants from ME, sometimes I swear, and sometimes I send my kids outside because THEY ARE UNDER MY FEET and I need a break. I wish I was more Godly (in the way I think that means) but I really look to my husband to keep me from being legalistic because I can easily fall into that. Anyway, thanks for the good read.

    • Jess Connell says:

      Hi Rebecka,

      You said, I am an island unto myself and I just wanted to say– yes! And I think we all are. It’s an illusion that humans build, that we can be just like any other human being. We are all islands unto ourselves in so many ways, and yet, in another view, we are all just alike. It has helped me to come to the awareness that no matter what, I’m going to differ from people around me in one, or many, ways. There is ZERO chance of me meeting another human being with whom I’ll agree on every point.

      This idea of being an “island” is actually, I think, a really good thing for us to comprehend and accept.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  8. Rebecka says:

    One additional note–the homeschool thing: I’ve wrestled and wrestled with this issue. I have awesome friends that do it for a variety of reasons and I’m totally open to doing it but I have not felt the conviction of God, in my life, at this moment to do that–yet. But I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I walk in fear that every hitch in the road that we have in public school is because I’ve selfishly decided not to homeschool. So i have to also trust that God will convict me thoroughly if and when the time is right and until then to trust that just because a plan is right for some does not mean that it’s right for me–yet, anyway.

  9. shannon bradbury says:

    This article was helpful and convicting. My husband and I discuss this a lot, the reason I am doing things because of following others. It always goes back to What is the Holy Spirit saying.

    • Jess Connell says:

      I’m glad, Shannon.

      It’s so hard sometimes to sort out and discern whether we are being *influenced* by others, or following/idolizing others… I’ve found that only through the Word & my husband can I come to sort it out rightly.

  10. Stephanie says:

    Yes! It really is easy to gather convictions from hearing opinions and reading various blogs and magazines…it’s not always bad to start thinking about issues from these sources, but you’re so right in saying we ultimately need to be looking at the Word!

    I was homeschooled and raised in a big family, and while my parents sought to teach us from the Bible, I also picked up a few “convictions” that are not necessarily as black and white as I once thought. I married a man who was converted to Christ in his early twenties and ferociously read the Bible from the very start – this is such a blessing because as someone who loves and knows God’s Word well, he often encourages me to look at what Scripture really says – are my convictions grounded in that, or in human opinions and traditions?

    And there is something so freeing in having the Lord reveal something to us from His Word – even if something hard or counter-cultural, it’s not a burden because we’re doing it from faith and true conviction, not pressure from others. Anyway, I don’t know if these thoughts actually contribute to the conversation but I just wanted to say I enjoyed this post! Thanks for writing in such a biblically-wise way!

  11. Naomi says:

    Thanks for this post. It has given me much to think and pray about, namely the portion about carrying out our conviction in faith.
    It has always been my desire to homeschool and yet the closer I get to being that homeschool mom (my oldest will start in fall of 2015) the more I have questioned my motives, whether I am doing it in faith or out of an ideology of what I think will make perfect children.
    And I have questioned whether I wanted to for some of the reasons listed above.

  12. Andrea Studt says:

    Thank you, Jessica! I loved this. I have definitely been there to some degree, moreso in my earliest years of parenting. It wasn’t until the Lord showed me that the “method” I was trying to espouse was beginning to make me feel like a physical burden to the point of resenting my oldest son (he was very young). I felt like if *I* didn’t emply this method properly, the weight of his eternity was on MY shoulders. It took me a while to see it, though. I tend to push through on things, determined to make things work. I finally realized it was unhealthy for MY personality to use this “method”. I had some serious emotional baggage from my childhood years and this way of parenting was harmful for me and thus my children. ON the flipside, I have since been able to read various parenting books, etc and I am pretty easily able (by God’s grace) to only get the good nuggets that work for our family. However, I tend to not share book ideas anymore with others unless there is a specific thing about that book I REALLY liked. I have also found that by personality, some of us can chew the meat/spit out the bones more naturally while others may be a “follow by the book” and not veer from those details even if it is obviously not healthy for their family dynamic.
    Funny enough is, I found now that after swinging on both ends of the spectrum at different times, I am more comfortable in general. I can see discipline as more essential to maintain order, and the value in our children listening to us, but I don’t see it as their “salvation” so can either be as strict as needed or as “grace-based” as needed depending on the issue, the child, the moment, etc. I am thankful for all I have learned in the journey and am still learning. I really appreciated you writing on this.
    Much love,
    Andrea Studt

    • Andrea Studt says:

      Just wanted to add another thought I have had in years past…..For me, I had to “get away from” focusing so much on having well behaved children. I honestly had to mentally erase it from my own parenting vocabulary. Why? I focused too much on it. I looked at others’ children too much. I wondered why others were better behaved than certain ones of mine. I also criticized others (mentally, at least) for not doing as well in the discipline department as I was, sadly. I had to get to the basics and focus on my relationship with my kids. I had to find “my roots” as a mother and know that being authentic, having normal kids who sin like I do, is just part of the journey. I had to allow them to grow and change without feeling like a failure every single time they messed up. It was hard for me! So, I got to the point when I would even hear someone comment on other’s children “they are so well controlled, obedient, whatever” it made me pause. I just don’t like comparing in that way. I have been around a lot of families with now older children and truthfully, I have seen “well controlled” children display attitudes (pride is a big one) and passive aggression, etc that gave me big pause to not focus SOOO much on behavior but moreso on relationship. However, I see the need to in consistent discipline. It is essential! I just mean I have sought a balance for US and it may look a little different than the next family.

      • Jess Connell says:

        As far as getting away from the idea of obedience, I want to give a little pushback to that…

        if we see that our children are obedient but prideful, or obedient but rude, or obedient but rebellious under the surface, to me, that’s a reason to deal with that secondary attitude issue, not to pull back from helping our children learn obedience to their authorities. So when I see those things (and I do, and I think even the most undisciplined, awful, UNobedient children probably struggle with pride, rudeness, rebellion, and other sin issues), we address those things directly and with scripture and guidance, etc… continued training like anything else… but in my mind, that wouldn’t be a reason to pull back from pursuing obedience as described in Scripture.

        It’s so very OBVIOUS in Scripture that children are to obey their parents that I don’t think we can parent well without teaching obedience. (And I know you don’t either; I’m writing that more for other readers “listening in” on our conversation here). Consistency & training children to respect their authorities is a critical part of parenting! Certainly, we should not expect robotic perfection, but I think based on what I see in public, *most* parents in today’s generation swing too far to the side of laxness and allowing rudeness from their kids, than toward the side of robotic perfection.

        And what you say is right– that I think there was a tremendous swing (perhaps especially in the homeschooling circles of the 80s/90s) that focused on behavior often to the detriment or exclusion of relationship and love and JOY with our children… and THAT is so harmful & damaging. It is such a hard balance to strike, but I do think it’s doable.

        For us we’ve had to be so purposeful and willing to keep reexamining ourselves, and putting our hearts and actions under the microscope… “what’s happening in this relationship? Why are we having more conflict lately with this child? Have we stopped pursuing a loving relationship and focused too much on rules? Have we let too many rules slide lately and that’s why he’s becoming a pill?” LOL.

        We have to constantly be reexamining ourselves or else we all too easily slip into patterns of behavior/relationship out of habit… it is so easy to get into bad, or just less-than-beneficial, habits.

    • Jess Connell says:

      Andrea,

      I appreciated your comments about how some moms seem to be able to take the good and leave the harmful/unnecessary from parenting books, and some can’t. It’s an interesting thing to me, because for a long time I couldn’t see why people had a problem with this book or that book, and then when I heard their description of it, I didn’t even recognize it. That desire to help moms learn to “eat the meat and spit out the bones” is why I sat down and wrote One Thing: Top Tip (From A Mom of 6) last year, because I found that skill to be so critical in developing discernment and judgment as a mom.

      • andrea studt says:

        Yes, Jess! To all above you said. I appreciate you filling in those gaps for me. I agree with all of your comments. Yes, I don’t mean do away with obedience. I am more talking about it becoming an “idol” of sorts either in your own relationship with your kids or in how you admire other people. I had to quit focusing on it, but again, I think that is more of a personality/inward sin-struggle thing for some of us. Our personal upbringing can also affect these things, too. By God’s grace, I have made it to the other side. I agree SO much with what you say about constantly reexamining ourselves and how we are parenting each child. Thank you for writing back.

  1. December 22, 2014

    […] doing something because other people do […]

  2. August 20, 2015

    […] Convictions & Choices: Don’t Do It Because “THEY” Do […]

  3. March 23, 2016

    […] I don’t want to “do it because THEY do,” nor do I want to do it “to prove them wrong.” I don’t want my convictions to be fueled by things outside of God’s Word & the authorities and wisdom-speakers He’s placed in my life. […]

  4. June 8, 2016

    […] CONVICTIONS: Don’t Do It Because “THEY” Do […]

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