Well, today’s the due date.
THE due date.
The DUE date.
But Luke is still inside, sticking his knobby knees out in alien movements that I feel with gasp-inducing clarity, and prying his little feet up into my ribs.
And I can’t wait to meet him.
Here’s one final “belly pic” for any curious people out there… taken at 39 weeks, 6 days. (This was taken about midnight… so I look exhausted because I was. And yes, I had an epsom salt bath already drawn… and have I told y’all about these awesome, cheery, amazingly-perfect cups? They are my favorites!!)
This time around, here’s what I notice different in my heart:
- I’m less willing to put myself through misery to try to make him come sooner. With previous babies, I’m pretty sure I’ve tried it all… walking non-stop, driving purposefully down bumpy roads, high-impact walking down the steep hills of Istanbul, castor oil–THREE times (don’t do it, mama! I’m convinced that unless your body is already on the cusp of labor, it will only lead to bathroom misery the likes of which you never want to know), having my membranes “stripped,” and plenty more. This time around, I’m just waiting. Several months ago, I chose a date that is far beyond my due date and tried to focus on that date. “I’ll be holding him, one way or another, by this date.” I think that decision has made TODAY, as the due date, less stressful. Less emotion-inducing. Less urgent. I went for a walk last night, but it wasn’t with the delusions or hopes I would have had with previous babies. I think I’ve finally come to a place of contentment. Babies really do come when they come. He will come. It’ll be at just the right time. God knows better than I do.
- I am not looking forward to labor. It’s never been a thrilling idea to me (although I did write this article about all the good things about labor), but I think I used to have more forgetfulness about the *pain* of it than I do now. I am under no illusions. I’ve had labors of (in order) 26, 8, 4, 3.5, 8.5, and 12-13 hours. I’ve gotten an epidural once, used pitocin 3x, used demerol & stadol, and experienced natural labor three times. And you know what? Labor hurts. And recovery takes time. And now, 7 times in, I remember with greater clarity than I used to… so I’m not looking forward to those things, honestly. BUT! It’ll be worth it… holding Luke, resting together, admiring his little perfect features, kissing his soft skin… it will all be amazing. This is just one of those moments in life when, as a woman, I wish Eve had made a different choice; that’s all.
- The important thing is SOOOOO not the things we talk about: weight, length, how long labor took, or the hair color. What I’m most looking forward to is his little PERSONALITY. What I can see now, 12.5 years into parenting, 7 babies later, is this: what changes my life about each one has nothing to do with eye color, or which parent they resemble. What changes my life is the way God uses them as individual little PEOPLE to shape my heart, challenge my character, and impact the world. So more than anything, this time around, I’m eager to see WHO HE WILL BECOME. To meet this little person who will challenge and change and sharpen me in ways that God knows only LUKE can do in my life.
Well, I had some good contractions last night, but then they stopped. And it’s only 10:30 am. So it’s possible he could still come “on his due date” (I’ve not had one be “on time” like that yet)… but even if not, I’m excited to meet him soon– this little life-changing person who God has made to thrill and challenge my heart in ways no one else could.
Have a good weekend! Hopefully I’ll have cute newborn pictures to share soon.
My soon to be sister in law is due on the 12th. It is my brothers first and her second child. She is beyond ready to deliver. I just can’t wait to smell and kiss him! 😉
I’ll keep you in my prayers, Jess! My husband’s Oma always encouraged almost-due mamas with Nahum 1:7. So I’ll pass it on to you 🙂
Here’s that verse, for other people who are curious:
“The Lord is good,
a stronghold in the day of trouble;
he knows those who take refuge in him.”
Thanks, Laura!
Am so exited for you and the childran ,I remember how excited when my 6 th was born I had 3 boys and 2 girls and they were all wanting boy for my 3 boys and of course the girls wanted a baby sister , the Lord blessed us with a girl ,she is 53 and has been a blessing to me . I am so excited for you and the children Sending my love ggreat aunt Connie
Thanks, Aunt Connie! 🙂
You are a beautiful momma! Excited for your news… at the right time… when he is ready. 🙂
Thank you! 🙂 And thank you! Yes. It will be the right time… whenever he comes.
I love your perspective. 🙂 And I love, love, love what you said about your new baby shaping your character in the way that only *he* can. You are so right and I just love that. I have *only* three children but each one of them brings something to the table in terms of my sanctification! HAHA! But seriously. They are blessings!
I hope your little guy comes soon!
Each pregnancy is different from the previous time, that is for sure. I know when I was pregnant with #5 and #6 (they were twins), I was definitely excited to see how their personalities would be once they were born. Ironically, the boy twin was always moving around and he is still the busy one of the two. The girl twin hardly ever moved around and she’s still very still and takes everything in. I was also very nervous about the labor part that time too. I will be lifting you up in prayer this morning.
Haha, just this morning one of the midwives felt my tummy, since Luke is such a little weirdie, constantly in absurd positions and sticking his limbs out in odd places, and said, “it feels like there’s too many parts in here to be just one baby!”
So there is the remotest chance that there’s twins in here. But the sonogram said one. And I’ve only ever felt one bottom. I think he’s just a little silly boy who is way too comfy in there and does not do the whole newborn “curl up your limbs and stay compact” thing. Haha! I can’t wait to meet him and see what he’s like on the outside… he’s been so silly on the inside.
Jess, I love that you talk about not looking forward to delivery. I have had 4 of my 5 naturally…and my husband thinks that I am just a pro at this, but I am so much more where you are- I have no illusions that it is HARD and it hurts…and honestly, I am more nervous about labor than I have ever been- and I am not pregnant! 🙂 So strange. I thought it was just me. Thank you for letting me know that I am not crazy- ha- and yes, oh that Eve would have chosen differently!
I would say that while I would look forward to labor less, I think I would look forward to the child more. The more kids I have had the more joy they have brought- the more I have seen the Lord work through them in me. They are each a delight and a wonder. So happy for you and your family. As always, thank you for the encouragement.
Yes, LOL! I am so excited to meet Luke, and yesterday afternoon I even felt like, “I AM GOING TO ROCK THIS. I’m gonna attack labor like a beast.” But then last night I was a total whiner to Doug… “I don’t WANT to go through labor again….” 🙂
Oh well. I’ll just be glad once it starts, cause then it’s out of my hands & I just get to roll with it & have him in my arms in a matter of hours. 🙂
This might have been ages ago but I have 7 children!!
Miya is 22 years old (f)
Harry is 20 years old (m)
Blake is 17 years old (m)
Andrew is 15 years old (m)
Lily is 11 years old (f)
Thomas is 9 years old (m)
Jasmine is 7 years old (f)
I love them all dearly! Miya has a full time job and has a flat with her boyfriend. Harry has a full time job and has an apartment with his mates. Blake is at college and is still with me. Andrew is at highschool and is still with me. Lily is at highschool and is still with me. Thomas is at primary school and is still with me. And Jasmine is at primary school and still with me. So technically I’m only looking after six children at the minute but Miya and Harry visit every single day for a catchup. I have 3 girls and 4 boys who I love equally!!